I knew long before I became pregnant that I was going to be a Working Mom - I just had no idea HOW hard that role would be. When I first went back to work - I talked about feeling both "lost and found" in my new Working Mom identity. After having spent every hour of every day with my baby - I suddenly felt like I was missing a limb without him in my arms.
Now... as I have been back at work for almost 9 months I - I felt like I'm being pulled limb from limb. This week has presented me with more Working Mom challenges than I've ever seen so far. Since the beginning of the year - Brandyn and I both have taken off a combined 5 days of work (5 days- in TWO months!!) to tend to Andrew and his various illnesses (don't worry - nothing more serious that the flu, or recurring double ear infections). We've taken those days off happily - and enjoyed the extra cuddle time with The Babe.
However, this week - was a different story. Monday, I traveled an hour into San Francisco for work, only to receive a call 30 min after I arrived at my desk - and learn that Andrew had thrown up at day care - and they needed me to come pick him up. So I pulled my stuff together and headed an hour back home. Andrew and I made it to the Dr. - diagnosed another double ear infection and a random virus (which caused a rash all over his body). But this post isn't about Andrew's aliments, its about ME! ;)
I spent the next two days - taking care of Andrew and working from home - and being pulled in every which way possible. I attempted to check work emails, while my clingy and in pain baby fought to grab the keyboard and would NOT be put down. I attempted to make myself lunch, while taking a conference call, and trying to feed and non-hungry, crying baby. I attempted to put the baby to sleep (which lasted 30 min), while I tried to respond to 10's of emails that poured in that morning all about projects due by the next morning. I called my coworker, and attempted to commit to handling my share of a project, only to have to call back an hour later with the realization that I was NOT going to be able to get anything done with a baby in my arms. I attempted to take a drive - to get us BOTH some fresh air and get out of the house - only to be 10 min away from home, when Andrew threw up in the car.
This morning, Andrew went back to day care, not because he was feeling 100% better (he hadn't had a fever in more than 24 hours and hadn't thrown up during that time either)... but because I had to go back to work!! Andrew actually had a good day at day care (Miss Stephanie really does give him extra love and attention)... and I had a productive day of cleaning up the messes I made the two days before. But the truth is... I wanted to be at home today, cuddling with my sick, cranky, ear-infected baby... and loving when he snuggled his head in my chest - snot and all!!
This Working Mom stuff is H.A.R.D.